7 Family Essentials This Summer

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Summer Break can somehow be both easier and more stressful for parents. Create a rhythm and make sure your kid’s (and your) needs are met with these 7 family essentials this summer.

If you start to see your kids fighting or complaining a lot, seeming lethargic or unmotivated, this episode will help you to know what to work on to get them back on track and enjoying summer again.

7 Family Essentials This Summer

During the summer, we tend to get out of balance as a family. The kids stay up later. We travel a lot. There's a lot of extra screen time. And so we get out of our rhythms and routines.

In some ways, there’s a bit more ease, but it’s also a lot of work for parents. When you are able to give your kids access to the types of things they need in order to stay self regulated, you'll have a lot less misbehavior.

It’s impossible to meet every single one of your kid’s physical, emotional and mental needs all the time. But what we can do is build a framework that helps you know what it is that you should be working on if your kids seem off balance. 

#1: Family Touch Points

These are real, in-person moments when everyone in your family puts down the devices and does something together. This could be eating a meal, watching a movie together, going for a walk or bike ride, doing a craft or whatever you enjoy doing as a family. The point is that everybody is doing the same thing at the same time. 

Research shows that when families enjoy activities together, kids develop a higher self esteem because they feel important. They feel like they matter to the grown ups in their life. It also strengthens your communication with them, and you get better behavior because you’re filling their cup. Plan these times and be intentional with them.

#2: Boredom

Boredom is good for kids’ cognitive and emotional development. They will resist it because it’s uncomfortable. The brain wants fast, easy sources of input. But if you don’t try to solve that problem for your kid, if you let them struggle through the boredom, they will get to the other side - and often come up with really creative ideas. 

One way to give kids the opportunity to have boredom is through screen-free breaks. This is a period of time when your kid doesn’t have access to technology. Once their brain realizes that the quick dopamine fix from screens isn’t available, it will solve the problem.

#3: Time In Nature

Children desperately need to be in nature in order to grow up with good physical and emotional health. Kids who spend a lot of time outdoors are less distracted and have a higher ability to focus. They are also less likely to be depressed. 

Create as much time as you can to be outside. And when you are in nature, try to move slowly. Look at the sky. Notice the clouds. Look at the birds. Try to find out which one is making which noise. Notice the different colors of green. Let them take their shoes off and dig in the dirt a little bit.

#4: Movement & Rest

Kids need to move their bodies more than adults. I call this big body movement. They need to be running and swimming and throwing and jumping. This movement helps to grow their brains, bodies and nervous systems. 

Kids under 10 need 2 rounds of big body movement each day - preferably before noon and again about an hour before you start the bedtime routine. And because movement leads to better quality sleep, kids who are really active during the day also tend to sleep faster and better. 

Rest is equally as important as movement. If you’ve had a busy day and a lot of activity, your kid will need to rest their body (and it doesn’t have to be with a screen). They can read a book, snuggle with a stuffed animal or lay and listen to music.

#5: Solitude

As a mom, you are going to need time without your children so you don’t burn out. Build some alone time into your daily rhythm. This is a time to recharge your batteries. Anything you can do to get some help from a partner, spouse, babysitter or friend is really helpful here. 

Your kids also need alone time, so plan for breaks when they can have time to themself. 

#6: Socializing

Kids need to play with their peers. Often, we over-rely on siblings, cousins or neighbors for social time in the summer, but it’s also important for your kid to see their school friends. It makes the transition back to school easier in the fall. 

Ideally, they’ll socialize in an unstructured environment, without adults telling them how to behave or video games telling them what to do. This helps them to learn self governance. This is when we see kids make up games, make up rules and figure out how to enforce them. Summer is also a great time for healthy risk taking, like climbing a tree or jumping off the diving board, and they’re more likely to do these things when other kids are around encouraging them.

#7: Productivity / Creativity

When your kid has a project or a goal, it can be very motivating and create a lot of positive emotion inside of them. Talk to your child and ask them if there’s anything they want to learn or work on. Find something they’re interested in and guide them through it. A sense of accomplishment is super healthy for kids. 

As you look at these 7 essentials, think of at least one that you’re already great at. Then, think about where there might be a gap, an area you’d like to add some more of for yourself and your family. Try things and explore in that area and see what happens. 

Focus on making things a bit slower. Take really good care of yourself. Let your kids learn some new skills. Enjoy your summer!

And grab the free Stress-Free Summer Toolkit to use as your guide!

You’ll Learn:

• The 7 essential ingredients every family needs to thrive
• Why boredom is super important and how to deal with it
• How to troubleshoot when your kid is complaining, grumpy and over-tired
• What to do to calm all the nervous systems in your home this summer

Resources:

• Get the free Stress-Free Summer Toolkit here.
• Last Child In The Woods by Richard Louv
• Episode 15: When Kids Are Bored
• Episode 21: Avoid Summer Burnout
• Episode 67: Screen Time Strategies
• Episode 78: When You’re Too Tired To Deal
• Episode 87: The 3 Rs of Emotional Regulation