Your Best Mother’s Day Plan

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Mother’s Day is coming. And if you've had a few Mother's Days that end with you getting into bed feeling totally wiped out and resentful, this podcast episode is for you. I’m talking all about how to enjoy Mother’s Day.

Mother's Day has a way of ending up the OPPOSITE of ideal for most moms.

A lot of times, moms spend Mother's Day cleaning up the kitchen after a messy breakfast in bed, followed by a lunch that's focused on their mother or mother-in-law, and then capped off by a rushed take-out dinner with all the regular bedtime routine shenanigans.

Taking Back Mother’s Day

I’m just going to say it - Mother’s Day is FOR moms!

 Usually, two things keep moms from creating their ideal day: guilt and not asking for what they want.

I want you to know that it is okay to not want to spend every minute of Mother's Day with your kids. Getting breaks from your kids is actually super important, so if you want a few kid-free hours on Mother's Day, it’s okay.

You might also feel guilty about balancing how to honor your mom, mother-in-law, etc. with getting what you want from the day, too. It can be a lot of people to please, especially if you live in the same town. People-pleasing is not what Mother’s Day is about, and you might not be able to satisfy everybody. Think about what you want from the day and take it from there.

I want Mother’s Day to be amazing for you, so I’m going to help you work through these common obstacles and make a plan and design a Mother’s Day that actually feels good to you. One where you get what you truly want from the day.

Make Your Best Mother’s Day Plan

It is your job to figure out what you want and then ask for it. Here’s how…

Step 1: Decide what you want

What does your ideal Mother’s Day look like? Take a few minutes to really think about this or journal on it. What do you really want? How do you want to spend your Mother’s Day?

Is it a break from kids? Time with your friends? Alone time? A visit with your own mom? A special family activity?

Do you want to sleep in? Shop? Go out to lunch? Spend time outdoors?

Step 2: Communicate your plan

If it's going to be a day where we honor and celebrate our experience as mothers and let the people around us honor and appreciate us, then we need to figure out a way to communicate what we want.

Talk to your partner (if you have one) about your vision for the day. Ask them if they think that plan will work. Are they willing to try something new if that’s what you want? 

If there are other mothers involved, reach out to them and see what they have in mind for the day. If you’re hoping for a more relaxed day, ask if you can have a shorter visit or if they’re open to celebrating together on Saturday or a different weekend. If they aren’t willing to change their plans or expectations, can you take your ideal day a week later? 

Having these conversations in advance is really, really helpful because it helps you get on the same page and make a real plan.

The Mother’s Day Hangover

If Mother’s Day can be hard, the day after can be even harder. Even if you manage to have a wonderful Mother’s Day, you’ll probably still have what I call the Mother’s Day Hangover. 

On Monday morning, when you walk into the kitchen and start packing lunches, getting kids up and off to school and doing your other regular parenting and work tasks, you might feel a little disappointed that life is back to normal. Your special day is over.

Or you might feel resentful that you didn’t get the Mother’s Day you wanted. Maybe your partner wasn’t supportive or your family left a big mess in the kitchen waiting for you. 

This is the time to reset. Acknowledge and recognize those feelings. Sit down with a journal and write them out. Be honest about what happened and how you’re feeling. Let it pass through you. Take care of yourself and give yourself some compassion.

I also know that some of us are sitting with feelings of grief and loss on Mother’s Day (myself included). If this is you, give yourself a little tenderness and consider this when designing your day.

This Mother’s Day, I send my love to all the mothers. For the first mothers, the forever mothers, the motherless mothers, the childless mothers, and the not-yet mothers. I love you. I see you.

And I’m wishing you YOUR most ideal Mother’s Day yet.

You’ll Learn:

• Why Mother’s Day can be so hard
• Steps for creating your best Mother’s Day plan
• How to process the “Mother’s Day Hangover” of disappointment, resentment or sadness on Monday morning

Previous Episodes Mentioned:

• Episode 9: Pause and Reset Your Emotions